Since 2022, Survation has conducted online qualitative panels (sometimes called online diaries) for the BBC’s Bitesize Parent’s Toolkit. Each month, we interview around 30 UK parents from a range of backgrounds and ask them detailed, open-ended questions about the parenting challenges they’re living through. In 2025 Survation were commissioned by the BBC to carry out the fourth iteration of this rolling qualitative work. The parents span England, Scotland and Wales, and include single-parent households, a range of ethnic backgrounds, and families with children who have special educational needs. Their children range from 8 to 17 years old.

Over the first three waves of this iteration (October, November, and December 2025), the panel has covered screen time, independence and safety, family support networks, difficult conversations, extracurricular activities and SEND, and many more topics. The BBC has drawn on this data and featured in a series of BBC Bitesize Parents Podcasts.

Phones and devices are a daily negotiation

If there was one universal theme across all three waves, it was the sheer weight of conflict around phones and devices. Parents described constant, tiring negotiation over when and how long children could use them, what content they could access, and what rules applied. Natalie, mother to an eight-year-old, called device usage “a daily struggle.”

This was particularly acute for parents of children on the cusp of secondary school. Giorgia described the pressure of her son’s classmates already having unrestricted internet access, while Kylie spoke about her daughter’s FOMO when friends played together online on apps she wasn’t allowed to use. Several parents reflected on the bind this creates: they want to set boundaries, but worry that doing so cuts their child off socially. As Kylie put it, “friends have a free reign of different apps,” leaving her daughter feeling left out.

This tension between boundaries and belonging ran through much of the data. Parents are weighing up online safety against their child’s social connectedness in real time, often without a clear framework for doing so.

Support networks are generationally strained

Most parents turn first to partners and their own parents for advice. Friends with similarly aged children are a close second, particularly for everyday dilemmas. Online resources like Mumsnet and Facebook groups tend to come in for more specific or sensitive issues. Several parents even mentioned using ChatGPT to get what they described as impartial, context-specific guidance, which is an interesting development in itself.

But a clear generational tension runs through these support networks. Parents frequently described older relatives as well-meaning but often out of step with modern parenting, particularly around discipline, screen time and neurodivergence. Bob S summed it up: “What worked in the 80s doesn’t necessarily work now.” For families of neurodivergent children, this gap has caused even greater friction. Kylie described a distressing incident where a relative, not understanding her autistic daughter’s meltdown, removed the child from the house and shut the door on her. “When I arrived she was clearly traumatised,” she said.

SEND families endure long waits, limited support

The December wave included a dedicated focus on special educational needs. Parents described long waits for NHS assessments, missed referrals, and repeatedly having to push for recognition of their child’s needs. Helena W described paying privately for a diagnosis because the family was “fed up of being gaslit by school.” Morag J recounted a three-year wait for a diagnosis that still came with no support attached.

Schools were often the first point of contact, but experiences were mixed. Some parents described constructive relationships; others felt their concerns had been ignored for years. Nancy D told us: “I’ve been asking for years and years and years and never been listened to.” Informal networks, particularly online groups and other parents with lived experience, were frequently described as the most useful source of practical advice and emotional validation.

The overall impression was of parents doing an enormous amount of advocacy work on their children’s behalf, and often feeling quite isolated in doing so.

Navigating difficult conversations

Parents described bereavement, bullying, racism, puberty, neurodivergence and online safety as among the hardest topics to navigate with their children. A consistent thread was the emphasis on choosing the right moment, listening before advising, keeping things age-appropriate. As Tara S put it: “Try not to do it in the heat of the moment.” Helena W echoed this: “How you say it matters.”

When it came to preparation, most parents took a pragmatic, light-touch approach. A quick online search, a conversation with a friend, a scan of a parents’ forum. Formal guidance from schools or services tended to be sought only when issues were acute. Several parents noted that generic advice rarely felt like a good fit for their specific child or circumstances, which reinforces why hearing from other parents in comparable situations carries so much weight.

Independence and growing up

In November we explored how parents manage their children’s growing independence, from outings with friends and public transport to sleepovers. Most parents described a gradual, negotiated expansion of freedom, typically beginning around the transition to secondary school. Tracking apps like Life360 and Google Family Link were extremely common.

Parents were strongly split on sleepovers. Many were comfortable with them at families they knew well, but a significant minority didn’t allow them at all, citing safety concerns. Helena W was direct: “I do not feel comfortable with sleepovers at all. Can never know who is at someone else’s house.” Parents of neurodivergent or anxious children often described delaying independence or finding it impractical because their child struggled with unfamiliar environments.

The overarching pattern was of parents calibrating risk continuously, balancing their child’s developmental need for independence against their own assessment of what’s safe.

Extracurricular activities are valued but often carry trade-offs.

Parents overwhelmingly valued extracurricular activities for the physical, social and emotional benefits they provide. Sports featured most heavily, with football, swimming, gymnastics and martial arts recurring across the panel. Creative activities like music, dance and drama were also popular.

Cost was a significant factor. Monthly spending ranged from modest amounts to several hundred pounds, and many parents described difficult trade-offs, scaling back activities or having to choose between them. Kylie said: “I absolutely wish there was [sic] some free clubs because they are all so expensive and that’s why we have had to cut back on what she can attend.” Free provision tended to be school-based and limited, often oversubscribed or narrow in scope. For families with additional needs, extracurricular access was shaped as much by what their child could cope with as what they could afford.

The value of a qualitative panel

At Survation, we are best known for our political polling. But some of the most important questions in research require a level of texture that goes deeper than a survey. How does it feel to navigate the school system when your child has undiagnosed SEND? What goes through a parent’s mind when they’re deciding whether to let their 12-year-old take the bus alone? How do you navigate difficult conversations with difficult teenagers? 

Online qualitative panels are well suited to this. The closed forum set up means participants are able to provide their answers in a comfortable and familiar environment without being influenced by the answers of the other participants. The monthly waves for the BBC allowed us to track how parents’ experiences develop over time, revisit themes, and bring in new topics as they emerge. Participants also become more open as waves progress, and the quality of the data reflects that. And careful recruitment ensures we’re capturing a genuine range of perspectives, including those that are often underrepresented in public discussion, such as parents of neurodivergent children, single parents, and families outside the south-east of England.

For the BBC, this has provided a strong evidence base rooted in what parents are actually experiencing and provided extremely rich data to inform their advice articles. 

If you’re interested in how a structured qualitative project could work for your organisation, whether as a standalone panel, a complement to survey data, or a way to get closer to the audiences your work is intended to reach, please get in touch with Tom Clifford on 020 3818 7567 or via email tom.clifford@survation.com 

You can also read some past BBC articles featuring contributions from our BBC Parent Panel here:

Dear Parents’ Toolkit… How much freedom should I give my child?

Dear Parents’ Toolkit… Should I help my child with their homework? 

Dear Parents’ Toolkit… How much screen time is too much?